Don’t Allow Fear to Control Your Life

Fear has been coming up in my conversations with clients in the last few weeks more often that usual. As I listen to them, I witness their weary faces. I see how tired they are of the struggle. I notice the heaviness they hold in their bodies.

I do my best to accept the people I work with as they are, because I was taught to do so. I first learned about unconditional acceptance when I read books written by Carl Rogers over 15 years ago. This concept was later reinforced in my training with prominent teachers.

Yet unconditional acceptance doesn’t feel like enough. I feel a pressure build inside me to say more…To share with them about what’s possible…To offer them guidance.

Acceptance is a beautiful key, yet it can also be a strategy to “get somewhere else.” It’s easy to get caught in the belief: “After I accept this situation or experience, change will occur.”

I intuitively sense that more is needed. I share with the clients what I learned about fear and how I navigated my own fears. I get personal with them. I don’t share all the ways I was taught to work with fear. The list would be long:

  • befriend the fear
  • feel the sensations of fear in your body
  • don’t allow fear to control your life
  • let go of fear
  • see fear as irrational
  • find the root of the fear in your inner child
  • work with nervous system disregulation
  • breathe through the fear

I have used all of these strategies, yet, what I came to realize is that fear comes in different flavors, shapes and sizes. It’s complex. The “roots” of fear are multilayered.

Each one of these strategies, when applied in the right context and in the right moment, can allow the energetic process to unfold.

I also believe that, at times, people are meant to continue “struggling” or “feeling stuck”, until the right moment in their lives comes…when enough openness and receptivity flower from within or until enough support becomes available…or until enough presence has been cultivated.

Then, by pure magic, the transformation takes place.

It can be difficult to realize the following truth: the healing process cannot be controlled.

In my own life, fear showed up on multiple levels. Starting with an escape from my homeland as a child. Later in life I uncovered a belief that got lodged into my subconscious mind at that point in time: “people are dangerous”; they can attack me, they can kill me and my family.

Continuing on with a strong fear of rejection when I moved to the United States and not feeling like my need for belonging was met.

Continuing on with intergenerational fear of “needing to run for my life” to be safe.

Continuing on with fear that arises when my blood tests show something out of range.

The list can go on and on….

Although, I still don’t fully feel comfortable with fear, I am accepting this truth: fear has been, is and will be a part of my life. If it wasn’t needed, the Divine wouldn’t have created it.

I continue reminding myself that all parts of me are welcome here. All parts of me belong, including fear and I use the practices that feel right to me to integrate my experiences.

I also sense that on a collective level we are starting to recognize what a strong hold fear has on our lives. How it limits us and doesn’t allow us to live the lives we truly desire to live. How fear doesn’t allow us to open to change and to the reorganization of our lives.

I sense that on a collective level we are recognizing what a strong hold fear has on our lives. How it limits us and doesn’t allow us to create the lives that we truly desire to live. It’s not hard to see how conflicts and wars can quickly erupt from the energy of fear, revenge and pain.

We can either organize our entire lives around fear, be it personal, collective or intergenerational, or we can learn to integrate it into the wholeness of who we are. We can learn to create our lives from a higher and deeper aspects of ourselves, as we come into alignment with Love…with Spirit…with Soul.

My invitation to you today is simple. Sit or walk or dance with this question:

What does my Soul want me to know today?

Send me a message and share what you received. I’d be happy to hear from you. 


Here’s one simple story I want to share with you:

A couple of weeks ago, I guided a group of clients through a breathing practice, followed by a meditation. Toward the end of the practice, I invited participants to ask their Soul for guidance, encouraging them to become receptive to the message. As the meditation ended, I witnessed tears streaming down the face of one of the group members.

When I encouraged her to share her experience, she softly uttered the message she received from her Soul:

“Don’t allow fear to control your life.”


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